I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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