I just made out with a guy for $7.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
