with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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