At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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