my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Randomize
