Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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