We're like a lot better than the average bears
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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