how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
