Non-Jews are for practice
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
