Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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