Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
