So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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