The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
its not stalking. its research.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
