Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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