You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I had to cum in my sink.
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