I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
