Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
