Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize