I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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