i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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