I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize