Dual....:-)
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
