Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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