I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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