i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
