im about as happy as oj after his trial
She announced her abortion via fbk
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize