I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
