new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
