Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
