I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
