Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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