you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
