I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
