So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
