i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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