I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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