ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
did i walk over a car last night?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
