This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
