I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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