is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize