A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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