Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
