Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
