I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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