if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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