I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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