Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize