The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
