He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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