You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
either way he was missing a nipple.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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