I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
