I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize