Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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