I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
