these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
No more Irish car bombs ever.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
