i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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