I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
